Good News

Just wanted to post an update on my Gram's progress at the nursing home. I talked to Aunt Marlene today and she said they put Gram on a treadmill yesterday. They had to use a harness to keep her steady while on the treadmill, but she was able to do a total of 11 minutes yesterday (4 minutes, then a break...3 minutes, then a break...then 4 more minutes). I think that's pretty impressive. The family also had a meeting with the nursing home staff to get a review of her progress since she got there. They said she improves a little everyday and there's still a possibility that she may eventually come home. They said the first 90 days are the most important.
It is hard being so far away from her and the rest of the family. Sometimes I wish I could just move back up to NY to be with them.
Thank you for keeping her in your thoughts and prayers.

L&L

I had to pull out the Love & Logic on Xavier tonight.....
It was 20 minutes before bedtime and he was asking to watch a LeapFrog video ("right now!"). I told him that I would let him watch the video if there was time left after he brushed his teeth and got his jammies on. This compromise was not satisfactory for him and he demanded to watch it "right now". He was actually having a meltdown over it!

I stayed calm and he walked with me to the bathroom. I brushed his teeth with out saying a word. The funny thing was that although he was screaming "I wanna watch it right now!" and having a meltdown he was still 100% cooperative when it came to getting ready for bed.

When he was finished getting ready he was still begging to watch the movie. I told him in a calm voice "I am sorry but I offered you a compromise and you did not except. There will be no video tonight, but you can try again tomorrow." This sent him for a tailspin! We walked into his bedroom, he still wasn't fighting me, just crying . He climbed into his bed. I covered him up. He was still crying and saying he wanted to watch the video and "Please give me one more chance". I told him I was sorry about his choice. I gave him a hug and a kiss and walked out of his room.

He proceeded to cry and scream for 10-15 minutes. Then he yelled for me to come into his room so he could tell me something. I walked in and he says "Mommy, I love you". I said "I love you too buddy, but you have to learn that when Mommy and Daddy offer you a compromise you can choose to take it or leave it, but if you choose to "leave it" then the deal is done and no amount of crying is going to get you what you want." He said "OK Mommy". I hugged him again, walked out and he went to sleep.

Rod and I both felt terrible the entire time he was screaming. It definitely would have been easier on us to give in and let him watch the video, but I am glad I/we stuck to our guns. Hopefully he learns a lesson from the night. Better to learn now at the age of 3 than to wait until he's in the real world at 23 or 33. Poor little guy. He probably wishes I never took those parenting classes (lol).

The Children's Advocacy Center's Annual Fall Fashion Show

This year Michelle and I are co-chairing the silent auction for the CAC Fall Fashion show. We are working on getting some awesome donations to bid on. If you are interested in attending and supporting a great cause call the Children's Advocacy Center @ 386-238-3830 and reserve your seat. Tickets are $45 per person. We are all working extra hard to make this a Fashion Show to remember. And remember we are always looking for more volunteers and donations, so if you are interested in helping out or if you have something you would like to donate to the silent auction, let me know.

Food for Thought

...."the only meaning anything has in your life is the meaning you give it through your own judgement"
~James A. Ray from "Stop the World"

Something Bold

Well "they" say fate favors the bold. And when you get an inspired thought or idea that is a little out of character it is God, Spirit, The Higher Power, Subconscious, The Universe (which ever you prefer) nudging you in the right direction to get the results you are looking for.

Last night I got an inspired thought and I decided to go for it. It was a little out of the ordinary to say the least.

As all of the readers who know me personally know, my gram had a stroke a few weeks ago. It was very serious and they didn't think she was going to survive more than 24-48 hrs. She proved the doctors wrong and last week she was put into a nursing home. The nursing home is costing my grandparents $7,000/month out of pocket. Medicare will not pay for any of it until they have only $13,000 left to their names. Other than the stroke, both of my grandparents are in good health and will hopefully live at least 10 more years. We all know $13,000 is not enough to live 6 months on in this day and age. My grandparents don't get much social security because they retired at 40. They made some wise investments and have lived very frugally. I think they are still wearing the clothes they had when my dad was a kid. And they grow most of their own food in their garden.

Anyways, my grandparents both mean the world to me. They have always been there for me and I feel like it is my duty to help them pay for the nursing home. It is the least I can do.

My inspired thought has to do with helping them. I am trusting in God to help me here because this is almost like a shot in the dark. Everybody cross your fingers for me and say a little prayer. I don't want to let the cat out of the bag just yet, but I will keep you posted and let you know if it all pans out.

With Blessing, Guidance, and Love from God....

the orphanage

Hi Friends
Most of you know that my hubby had asked my to help him gather some donations for an orphanage over in the Sanford area. Everybody has been so great and generous with their donations. Thank you so much!! Our entire foyer is over flowing, things are piled in the garage, and the trunk of my car is full. I think I will have to make a few trips or maybe we will need to take 2 cars (or maybe Darlene's minivan). Either way, it's a lot of stuff and we greatly appreciate it!!
It only takes a little bit of effort from a group of caring people to pull off an amazing feat!

ps. The 2 things they asked for the most were books and playdoh and we have lots of both!!

Discovering "LOVE & LOGIC"

I have been working on lots of interesting ideas, I've become acquainted with some "new" authors (meaning ones I had not read in the past), and I stumbled across something called "Parenting with Love & Logic".

Just over 2 months ago a friend of mine sent me a text message saying "Do you want to take a parenting class with me? It's called Love & Logic, they have a website, check it out". So I did and we decided to sign up.

The principles taught in our 8 week class are so simple yet powerful! It's all about setting limits by giving our children choices. For example; At our house bedtime has always been the time of negotiation & pleading for "10 more minutes". We"fought" to get jammies on, brush teeth, picking out a story, and actually getting into the bed. Now our evening goes like this; about 40 minutes before bedtime Rod or I will say "who wants Daddy/Mommy to help them get ready for bed?" That's choice #1 and it's nothing but choices until we walk out of their bedroom saying "goodnight".

Choice #2: "Which toothbrush would you like to use?" (each of them has always had 2 toothbrushes to pick from)

Choice #3: "Which toothpaste do you want to use?" (Xavier has Buzz Light Year & Madison has Princess, but they can both choose from either)

Choice #4: "Do you want your face washed before night night?" (they both always say "yes" and it has always been part of the routine, but now they feel like it's their idea)

Choice #5: "Do you want chapstick on before night night?" (since I always put chapstick on after brushing my teeth & washing my face, they are just in the habit of doing so...monkey see, monkey do....and again, now they think it's their idea)

Choice #6 "Do you want a story before night night?" (of course the answer is "yes")

Choice #7 "Who wants to pick out the book?" (usually they both do, if so we let them each pick out 1 book)

Then we set the kitchen timer for 10 minutes. We read as much as we can until the buzzer goes off. When the buzzer goes off we yell "YAY! It's time for night night". And both kids jump off the couch excited to go to bed.

Choice #8 "Do you want to walk or be carried to bed" (they both usually pick "walk")

Choice #9 if they pick "walk" to bed then we ask "Does anybody want to hold my hand and skip?" (they both usually say "yes")

Choice #10 "Do you want your night light on or off?" (they always choose "on")

Choice #11 "Do you want your fan on or off?" (again, they always choose "on")

Then we say our "goodnights" & our "I love you's" and walk out of the bedroom without another peep til morning! It is amazing! Some people may think that giving all these choices is just plain non-sense, but in actuality every single one of these choices are things we were already doing every night. The only difference was we were fighting to get them done. I guess because the kids felt like we were "making" them do it and they knew it was leading to bedtime. But now we get it all done much faster and everybody is happy when they hop into bed. And best of all Rod & I still have our sanity!

On our last day of class I told our instructor that just learning this little trick to get our kids in bed in a timely fashion is worth a million dollars (or more). The kids go to bed happy and we are happy too.

The important thing to remember when giving these choices is to make sure you are ok with both options. Children are smart and they will be able to know if one choice is more desirable to you than another. Sometimes when I give Xavier choices he will ask; "Well which one do you want me to pick" and I always say "It's up to you, I'm fine with either choice." At first this would annoy him. He would keep asking me which I thought he should pick and if I would make a suggestion he would always go the opposite way. I think he was expecting me to get upset or was looking to get a rise out of me. When he chose the opposite of my suggestion I would say "Ok, whatever you want to choose." And then he would switch his choice to the other. It was as if he was trying to feel out the choices to see if one was "better" (less desirable to mom). Finally when he realised I really did not care too much how he picked he started picking the choice that he actually wanted.

With Xavier being 3 1/2 and Madison just turning 2, I am so thankful to have been introduced to "LOVE & LOGIC" at such an early stage in their development. They say that learning to make responsible choices and suffering the consequences of bad choices it what develops good self esteem as they get older. If you get a chance check out the "LOVE & LOGIC" website or go to your local library. I was able to borrow the "Parenting with Love & Logic" book and an audio program from our local library. I also ordered a few things from Amazon.